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| Talking to this girl I like..? | |
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| Topic Started: Nov 26 2010, 05:35 PM (672 Views) | |
| Big G | Nov 26 2010, 05:35 PM Post #1 |
3DC member
  ![]](http://z1.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)
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I like this girl, and she recently found out that I liked her. I have not spoken to her yet. Anyway she keeps starring at me then laughing with her friends. We are both 18 and we are both studying Med. Anyway I'm abit nervous to speak to her face to face. So would it be ok for me to start chatting to her via facebook, so that I could build my confidence up? Or should I just man up and speak to her face to face...? |
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| phoenix | Nov 26 2010, 06:35 PM Post #2 |
Administrator
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You won't jump into a relationship like sometimes happens in highschool, now that you're an adult dating will take place before the partners can be mutually established as exclusive partners or boyfriend/girlfriend. Much like transcription and translation in prokaryotes and eukaryotes, dating a girl you're interested in comes in three steps. In this post I will cover the first step of dating: initiation. I will also give you exactly what to say in case you're new to the 'talking to girls' thing. 1. Talk to her. (You know her name, right? At the end of a class, ask her what she thought of the class. If you haven't formally met, introduce yourself. Ask her where she's from, etc.) 2. Ask her out. (Yes, you can ask her out the next time you talk to her, but if appropriate you may want to wait for the second or third time you talk to her. "You wanna get dinner tomorrow night?" Suggest a place (HAVE A LOCATION IN MIND BEFOREHAND). If appropriate, say "It's on me." or whatever. Remember, you want to get to know her, that's the purpose. Also, get her number.) 3. Go out. (Think of stuff to bring up BEFOREHAND in case dinner conversation gets slow. Also, ask her about herself, when in doubt. Plain and simple. -Most- girls will be happy to take on 60 percent of the conversation. Be casual, be confident, and "call her out" at every occasion, i.e. tease her for her faults, if appropriate. Don't let her make you her complain-to guy friend. If she complains a lot, say "Wow you kinda complain a lot!" but try not to make it sound TOO rude. That kinda thing. A first date is like an interview. You'll know in the first few minutes whether you and her click or not. Don't pretend to be someone you're not, just act like you would when you hang out with your friends. Just have a good time and make sure she does. If dinner goes well and you want to catch an impromtu movie, then DO NOT MISS OUT ON THIS OPPORTUNITY. If she wants to continue spending time with you after dinner, capitalize on this momentum.) 4. Follow up. (The next day. Text her "I had a good time last night, we should do it again sometime". If you didn't have a good time, or if you aren't clicking, skip the elongation sequence and proceed to termination (both of which are covered later in this topic).) I don't recommend the Facebook wimpy way of befriending a girl before you go out. It's clunky and subject to severe misinterpretation. The only advantage is that you can weigh your words beforehand. But it's also the fastest path to the friend zone. I DO recommend bonding on Facebook after your first date, if it went well. Also, if she's well-spoken then make sure you double check your spelling and grammar when you message her. BE CONFIDENT, OR FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT. |
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| Bacon | Nov 26 2010, 10:57 PM Post #3 |
3DC legend
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I agree with 100% of phoenix's post but I would like to add that you shouldn't get super excited and stuff before you talk to her because that might make you so over-prepared that you'll freeze up or say dumb stuff. at least that is what happened to me |
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| Big G | Nov 27 2010, 01:18 PM Post #4 |
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3DC member
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Thanks phoenix and Bacon, I'm gonna man up and speak to her on Monday. |
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| Pure$killz | Nov 28 2010, 03:09 PM Post #5 |
The voice you dread
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yea nix is right. facebook/msn is for professionals. unless you know how to talk to a girl already i would never recommened using them first or you will get friend zoned hard. Whatever you do don't fall hard for the girl before you have already talked to her because if you put her on a pedistal she will sense it that your nothing more than a lap dog. And pretty much the only way that kinda behavior ever flys is if she is already crushing on you hard to begin with. What I am saying is remember that she is just a girl and if things don't work out there is a billion more out there buddy. |
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| DuskRising | Nov 29 2010, 01:12 PM Post #6 |
AKA MetalYoshi366
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Well, the man's got some good advice, but I kinda disagree on the facebook thing. A friended a girl back in high school and we chatted on facebook a few times outside of class. I ended up going with her to prom. I wouldn't dismiss it completely, but it's no replacement for an actual date. PLus high school's different from college, like you can get to know people more easily in a smaller class room. |
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| Big G | Dec 6 2010, 02:05 PM Post #7 |
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3DC member
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Yea I spoke to her, and she is stressed and she doesnt like the course. Anyway should i offer to help her on some of the work??? Also we have some exams this week so should i talk to her and ask how is her revision going, or just leave her alone for abit till the exams are over??
Edited by Big G, Dec 6 2010, 02:05 PM.
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| phoenix | Dec 6 2010, 02:22 PM Post #8 |
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Administrator
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just do what i said |
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| ptfreak | Dec 6 2010, 02:54 PM Post #9 |
Supreme Ruler of the Universe
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Yeah, I wouldn't offer to help her with homework until after you go on a first date. Doing something like that can be helpful because it'll usually just be the two of you, depending on where you're working, but if it's too early, that might make her a little uncomfortable. |
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| phoenix | Dec 6 2010, 04:52 PM Post #10 |
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Administrator
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| Bacon | Dec 7 2010, 10:17 PM Post #11 |
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3DC legend
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phoenix you already posted that picture in my girl topic: http://3luediamondclan.com/topic/7205318/1/ |
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| spasmodia | Dec 8 2010, 04:15 AM Post #12 |
smda
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i'm pretty sure he sent it to me over msn like 6 months ago too |
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| phoenix | Dec 8 2010, 09:28 AM Post #13 |
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Administrator
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Woah, are you saying memes aren't to be repeated? |
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| Bacon | Dec 8 2010, 08:32 PM Post #14 |
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3DC legend
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Desu desu xD |
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| Pure$killz | Dec 10 2010, 12:50 AM Post #15 |
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The voice you dread
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I think he simply brings it out when its needed most and that is fine in my books. |
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| spasmodia | Dec 10 2010, 02:53 AM Post #16 |
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smda
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i think that pheniox is a nasty guy |
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| SHU | Dec 10 2010, 05:58 AM Post #17 |
Snacks on Stacks
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Phoenix, you have successfully made explaining dating to someone even more awkward than even I have dared to do so. +50 SHU points |
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| phoenix | Dec 10 2010, 07:15 PM Post #18 |
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Administrator
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Thanks, what's my total? |
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| DuskRising | Dec 12 2010, 01:36 PM Post #19 |
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AKA MetalYoshi366
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Over nine thousand. |
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| Bacon | Mar 27 2011, 04:55 AM Post #20 |
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3DC legend
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So whatever happened Gurp? |
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